How Children Become the ‘Fixers’ of Broken Families
In many families struggling with conflict, emotional pain, or instability, it’s common to see a child quietly step into a role no child should have to play, the “fixer.” These kids become the emotional caretakers, peacekeepers, and silent heroes trying to hold the family together. But what happens when a child carries that heavy burden? How do they even become the fixer in the first place? As a therapist, I’ve worked with many adults who grew up feeling like they had to be the strong one, the responsible one, the “glue” in broken families. This blog explores how children become fixers , what that means psychologically, and why it’s not a healthy or fair role for any child. It Doesn’t Happen All at Once No child wakes up and decides to be the “fixer.” It happens quietly, over time. A parent breaks down, and the child offers comfort. Tension fills the house, and the child makes a joke to ease the mood. These small acts build up, and the child starts to believe, “If I hold everything toge...
